Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Annoyed with my brain
The decision to apply to law school, for me, was pretty agonizing. I spent several nights laying awake, terrified of the consequences of actually getting into an expensive law school, moving to a new city, and being half of a way-out-of-college grad student couple.
But I made the decision and was happy with it, and threw myself full force into all the details of LSATs and applications and personal statements.
And the personal statement started to get me. I've read (and been told, and know from good, solid intuition) that the best personal statement isn't going to be a bland commentary on why I'd make a good lawyer (or even a good law student). Rather, a good statement would emphasize my personality, play up my ability to overcome adversity, highlight my strengths, and show how I'd contribute to a diverse student body—all without expressly stating why I want to go to law school.
So as I've scribbled and typed in fits and starts, I've begun to doubt my motives. I don't know how to address any of those issues. I think I've overcome about as much adversity as any late-twenties woman from a broken home has—probably less, when you take my marvelous extended family into account. My strengths...well, I could talk about them, but they'll just repeat what's in my resume, and likely be boring. I can write, read, edit, research—oh, and I can build you a pretty decent website. Ooooooh. Special. And diversity? I'm a white woman, who went to a semi-elite small, religious liberal arts college, who's been working for the same employer for five years. There's not a lot of diversity in me, except that my career has been rather more artsy than I imagine many other "non-traditional" law students' careers have been.
My personal statement is making me doubt my gut. My gut jumped on the law school bandwagon the moment it occured to me. Everything in me cried, "Yes! This is something you can do well!" So why does my brain freeze the moment I have to actually articulate all the things about me that make law school sound so exciting???
NB: My boss just came in and we had a twenty minute conversation about how he doesn't want me to burn out in this job, so he's encouraging me to take some professional development courses. He said, "I'm always afraid people are thinking of leaving. But I guess I'd rather have someone really strong work for me for two years, than someone who's just competent for twenty." So will my eighteen months here be long enough not to cause serious animosity?
But I made the decision and was happy with it, and threw myself full force into all the details of LSATs and applications and personal statements.
And the personal statement started to get me. I've read (and been told, and know from good, solid intuition) that the best personal statement isn't going to be a bland commentary on why I'd make a good lawyer (or even a good law student). Rather, a good statement would emphasize my personality, play up my ability to overcome adversity, highlight my strengths, and show how I'd contribute to a diverse student body—all without expressly stating why I want to go to law school.
So as I've scribbled and typed in fits and starts, I've begun to doubt my motives. I don't know how to address any of those issues. I think I've overcome about as much adversity as any late-twenties woman from a broken home has—probably less, when you take my marvelous extended family into account. My strengths...well, I could talk about them, but they'll just repeat what's in my resume, and likely be boring. I can write, read, edit, research—oh, and I can build you a pretty decent website. Ooooooh. Special. And diversity? I'm a white woman, who went to a semi-elite small, religious liberal arts college, who's been working for the same employer for five years. There's not a lot of diversity in me, except that my career has been rather more artsy than I imagine many other "non-traditional" law students' careers have been.
My personal statement is making me doubt my gut. My gut jumped on the law school bandwagon the moment it occured to me. Everything in me cried, "Yes! This is something you can do well!" So why does my brain freeze the moment I have to actually articulate all the things about me that make law school sound so exciting???
NB: My boss just came in and we had a twenty minute conversation about how he doesn't want me to burn out in this job, so he's encouraging me to take some professional development courses. He said, "I'm always afraid people are thinking of leaving. But I guess I'd rather have someone really strong work for me for two years, than someone who's just competent for twenty." So will my eighteen months here be long enough not to cause serious animosity?
