Friday, January 23, 2004
Waving Goodbye to Singledom
Well, tomorrow's the big day. Tonight is my last night of single-ness. I slept in my own bed for the last time as a single woman. I am getting married tomorrow. How many times can I say the same thing in different ways?
Woke up at 5am with a mild panic attack over all the stuff I think I still have to do. It's not really all that much, now that I am awake and lucid. But at 5am, my heart was pounding and my head was spinning and I knew I was wasting my last hour of sleep as I watched the clock tick away the minutes until the alarm went off at 6:15.
Everyone keeps commenting on how calm I am, how collected I seem. And perhaps that was true. But today...today, I can feel the calm fleeing me, like ground animals from an earthquake. The calmness is gone, replaced by slight twitchiness and an general unbelief that I have to go to work today, even for just a few hours.
Tomorrow I get married. Tomorrow.
Woke up at 5am with a mild panic attack over all the stuff I think I still have to do. It's not really all that much, now that I am awake and lucid. But at 5am, my heart was pounding and my head was spinning and I knew I was wasting my last hour of sleep as I watched the clock tick away the minutes until the alarm went off at 6:15.
Everyone keeps commenting on how calm I am, how collected I seem. And perhaps that was true. But today...today, I can feel the calm fleeing me, like ground animals from an earthquake. The calmness is gone, replaced by slight twitchiness and an general unbelief that I have to go to work today, even for just a few hours.
Tomorrow I get married. Tomorrow.
